I love good work outs! Today's water polo practice was a great workout and I feel sooo good! Also this weekend I was at a church retreat where I did very well food wise and ran and swam every morning. All went well till Sunday afternoon when we went out to Mexican. I got depressed from breaking my good streak and ate a ton all afternoon while doing my homework. I can't get under 136.8! Tomorrow morning I'll weigh in again and see if I have lost any with my good workouts and low-cal diet, although I ate some trail mix at my friend's house this afternoon before practice AND some pizza. FUCK! oh well, I didn't eat much the rest of the day, just fruit and low-cal yogurt so I'm hoping my work out pays off. I want to feel confident in my jeans this weekend so I need to cut back on everything.

that fat girl

I hate feeling bigger than everyone else. Like guys would rather be with my friends than me and that they only invite the fat girl to the party cus she's got hot friends. I hate it. soooo much. I want to be thin more than anything. I will have to fight temptation tomorrow when people go out for fast food after my water polo game and then again this weekend when I'll be at a church retreat and only have certain unhealthy foods available. mahhhh well, I shall just not eat! Plus I'll bring my own food. Well good luck to anyone else fighting temptation!

Daily thinspo #9

Someday I want to be able to curl up in bed with my special guy and not be afraid of crushing him or making him uncomfortable with my weight. When I'm thin I want to feel small in a man's arms, fragile and delicate, something to be held and protected and loved. I love how this girl is part way on top of her guy without fearing her arm is too heavy or something. Someday, I will be tiny enough to possess that confidence. Until then, I will have my dear friend Ana to support me. I don't own this picture.

The dreaded pizza.

Pizza is greasy, covered, in cheese and other high calorie toppings, not to mention it is all packed on high calorie bread and take no time to eat making you feel as though you've eaten less than you actually have. Like soda, burgers, hot dogs, and all those other high-calorie american foods, pizza is handed out left and right at parties, sporting events, practically force-fed to you at ever opportunity. Today I met this devil at my water polo practice, a place I thought of as safe from al calorie intake. I ate TWO SLICES! Because it was dinner time, I had just burned a lot of calories, and I was tired as all hell. I digested somewhere between 900 and 1000 calories today because after that pizza ruined my day, I wisely consumed a nectarine, a banana with peanut butter, and even some crackers with salsa! I have plateaued recently and have been the same weight for a couple of days, around 137.4 pounds. I'm hoping to eat as little as possible tomorrow especially since I won't be at home and as long as I don't bring food with me to my water polo game, I should be reasonably safe. Here's hoping! Good luck everyone!

Daily thinspo #8

Someday I want to have enough confidence in how my backside looks to lead a guy by the hand while wearing shortie shorts. I love this girls style and her confidant aura, plus her guy's awfully attractive looking! Here's to confidence and sexy legs! I don't own this picture.

My little bit of sanity.

So it has been a few days, but I have met my first goal! I am 137.4 pounds and I wanted to be at 138 by today! I am feeling pretty good and hope to keep up the weight loss to reach my next goal of 132 by Friday. This weight loss is keeping me sane at the moment because most everything else in my life is not going too great. One of my guy friends has kind of turned on me, my girl friend is getting caught up in a guy and is fast leaving me behind, and my other girlfriend seems angry and depressed all the time. My water polo skills are lacking although the team is easily the other thing keeping my spirits up right now. My parents are not fighting too much lately, but that hasn't kept my mom and I from fighting like cats and dogs! Oh well, I'm getting thinner and in shape and I am reading a really good book called The Help which is helping me think about other people's troubles instead of my own. I hope everyone else can find their little bits of sanity in their worlds and hold on to them! Good luck with whatever you're doing with your life!

Daily thinspo #7

I love this picture! I think it is super cute and I love her legs. My goal is to someday feel dainty enough to stand on a guys toes to reach his face and know I'm not hurting him! I love thinspo pictures like this because it reminds me of things I'll enjoy once I'm thin. I hope everyone else enjoys them too! I don't own this picture.

Polo Practice Power

Although I did eat some extra snacks today at my friend's house, my water polo was really intense and I think I burned quite a few calories. I ate about 800 calories today which is 300 over my limit but I still feel pretty good. I am around 139 and I want to be at 138 by this Saturday so I'm wayyy ahead on my goal! I hope everyone had a great day and stayed strong! Good luck tomorrow!

Daily thinspo #6

Something I'm looking forward to when I'm thin is feeling small in a boy's arms. I love that safe, delicate feeling, plus I like it when guys think of me as small. I'm only 5'2" or so, so once I lose some weight I could be considered petite, a word I LOVE!! I don't own this picture.

Cookies.

So I have a major weakness. In my house growing up and currently as well, there have never been any form of sweets lying around because my mom is pretty healthy. Because of this, whenever there is a buffet type situation where I am offered free fatty foods I can't resist. I stuff my face without even thinking about it! Today I had just finished a long water polo practice in which I burned tons of calories, when they set out a party buffet of brownies, cookies, and muffins! I ate like 3 cookies, a brownie, and 2 muffins!! This completely ruined my day, and I had been doing so well too! I had only eaten a little over 200 calories most of which were fruit, and now I am over 1000 by a little. I'm hoping my water polo practice balanced me out and I'm thinking of going for a run this evening. Here's hoping I can stay strong tomorrow! Good luck everyone!

FATTY.

So it has been a few days since I posted. And those days sucked. I ate tons. like i went back to my fatty days. It was triggered by spending the night at my friends house where there was tons of food and we had a massive food fest then went shopping the next day and ate more, then today i worked a cinnamon roll fundraiser and ate THREE. and then was handed tons of free delicious pizza so I ate it. and now I've gained weight. I am back to around 142 or so so I gained like SEVEN pounds. in like 4 days. that is intense. so I'm not eating and cutting back on my calories limit and setting new goals for myself. I want to be around 138 by the 2oth and 132 by the 26th, and 127 by the 31st. So wish me luck and I wish everyone else luck!

Daily thinspo #5

Something I look forward to when I'm thin is being able to sit however I wish when in the presence of a boy (or at any time) without worrying about how fat my legs, arms, or stomach look. Heres hoping I get there someday! I don't own this picture.

BOY!

So today was fabulous, I have lost a total of 11 pounds now and with the help of water polo work outs I will lose the last 10 or so pounds I need to lose to reach my first goal of 125 pounds! In other good news, I am starting to like this guy that I have been friends with for a long time. I've never regarded him as attractive before now because he was "just Tyler" but recently he has grown a bit and lost his acne and my other girlfriends and I have been realizing that not only is he the super sweet and awesome guy we've always known, but has now grown into a sexy male specimen as well! He also plays guitar really really well, writes songs, plays drums, and is a fantastic soccer player! I'm not sure if I'm good enough for him but he seems to be welcome to the idea but I'm not sure. I think I have to be happy and love myself before I can believe that someone else could love me. This being said, I am going to wait until I lose all the weight I want to before going for him, that way I'll have some bonus confidence! I wish everyone else luck in their love lives as well!

Here we go again...

Mahhh I greatly dislike school. The people there are just awful! Only the second day and I'm already done. But my diets going well! I've eaten 322 calories today and hope to stay under 600. I'm cutting back to 500 next week after I get the hang of my school day schedule and don't need as much energy to get through the day. I start water polo tonight at 6 and have to wear a hideous one piece, but I'll survive. I hope everyone else is having a better time at school than I am and all your diets and goals are still going well as well!

Daily thinspo #4

Today for my first day of school outfit I wore some jean shorts and a cute shirt. Although I looked okay in the shorts, I feel like my thighs looked massive and blubbery compared to this girls. Something I'm looking forward to when I'm thin is being able to rock shorty shorts without my thighs jiggling or rubbing together! Heres hoping! I don't own this picture.

Back to School!

So today was my first day of school and it wasn't too bad. My teachers are pretty cool but I saw a lot of people I didn't really care to see, but thats just part of high school I suppose. I've eaten pretty well today, I had 55 calories of cereal this morning with 15 calories of soy milk and a 2 calorie cup of coffee, I then had a 62 calorie nectarine, a 15 calorie quarter of a pear, and a 100 calorie non-fat yogurt for lunch. So far that's it so I guess it's not too bad of a day diet wise. My mom bought a new digital scale which is great except that I learned that I am 1.6 pounds heavier than I thought this morning but then again, this morning I hadn't eaten anything yet. I start water polo tomorrow which will burn TONS of calories so I'm stoked about that. I hope everyone else is doing well with their wight loss goals and that anyone heading back to school has a good start to the new year!

My Ultimate Enemy.

Gahhhh I know I've posted a lot today but it really helps me relax. Okay, so dinner is basically the worst meal of the day. I ate 75 calories today before dinner, then I was forced to eat dinner at a friends house with my parents and lots of other people there and I didn't know how many calories were in anything, and even the salad was drenched in oil, and I really like the host and cook so I didn't want to hurt her feelings by not eating so I figured since I'd been so good today, I could afford to eat a bit. WRONG. Although I had tiny helping of everything they offered me, like really small, I ended up at almost 1000 calories today. Never again will I digest baked beans, creamy rice, ice cream, cobbler, oily salad, or ground beef tacos. Learn from my mistakes, if you don't know the calorie count of something, DON'T EAT IT! Or just eat teensy tiny amounts so it looks like you're eating. Well, I hope everyone else had a better day than I did! I have to go back to school tomorrow but that shouldn't be hard on my diet since I pack my lunches and I'm playing water polo which burns tons of calories. Heres to another year of high school!

Daily thinspo #3

One of the rules at my new job is that all employees must wear pants to work. This reminded me of another thing I'm looking forward to once I'm thin, actually looking skinny in skinny jeans! I hope to be able to rock some skinnies this winter or maybe by spring. Here's to beautiful legs! I don't own this picture.

Job Time!

Today is going fantastic so far! My calorie total is 75 and I'm feeling great! I start school tomorrow so I'm finishing up some summer english homework and getting ready for that today. I'm also going to dinner at a friend's house tonight and my parents will be there so I have no idea how that will go calorie wise, hopefully there's a salad! The main reason I'm writing this post though is to share some exciting news! First I've lost another pound, I am now at 139. Second, I got a job! I'll be working weekends at an apple farm near my house! Although this will be great for my wallet and I will be working through meal times and such, I will also be working in a kitchen sometimes making and serving tasty, fattening, calorie packed desserts to customers. I'm hoping I'l be able to stay strong and only eat the apples, not the apple products. I wish everyone else getting there first jobs good luck too, and everyone else, good luck as well with whatever goals you have set for yourself at the moment!

Sweet Roll Temptations!

So I'm off to church where there will be a large amount of sweet rolls to tempt me. I'm hoping I can hold out and stay strong as I serve them to the congregation! As of now I had a cup of tea and 2 glasses of iced water for breakfast with my vitamins, and I'm not even hungry! I'm staying busy today so there will be no down time to think about food. Heres hoping today goes well!

Daily thinspo #2!

Something I'm really looking forward to when I'm thin is being able to rock extreme crop tops in the summer to the river and beach! I'm always jealous of those girls with the perfectly flat stomaches who can show some skin without looking gross and feeling self-concious. I don't own this picture.

Fasting Failure :(

Well, I've already failed at my goal today but not in a horribly awful way. I wanted to fast today or only eat around 100 calories, but instead I'm already at 299. For breakfast I had 15 calories worth of soy milk with my vitamins and 2 glasses of iced water, but this afternoon some friends and I went to the river for an end of the summer thing and I ended up eating some fruit. I thought it would be fine since it was just fruit but it really added up! Plus my friend made me some lemonade which turned out to be almost 100 calories!! So basically today I learned that fruit DOES have calories and so does lemonade and that I should just stick to water! Well, I hope everyone else had better luck with their goals today than I did. I have to eat dinner with my family tonight and I have no idea how I'll get through that. Gahhhh! Biggest thing for me to remember from now on is that eating any form of food isn't worth the mental agony later if I don't know how many calories are in it.

TOO MUCH ITALIANO!!!

mahhhhh!!! I made and ate wayyyy too much pasta with buttery white sauce for dinner with a friend tonight. Because of this I went wayyyy over my calorie limit today and probably gained weight. GAHHHHH This means fasting tomorrow to make up for it I suppose. Plus I've realized that I cant be with this particular friend at meal times which sucks because we love to cook together! Well, I suppose this is the price I pay for becoming thin. Oh well, although I failed today, tomorrow I shall succeed! Goal for tomorrow: 0-100 calories tops. We'll see how it goes!

daily thinspo #1!

I love me some thinspo and this picture is so cute! A part of being thin that I find appealing is that guys can lift you without thinking you're heavy or fat. I don't own this picture.

#1

Recently I've started to count and reduce my calorie intake. I did very well for awhile and lost 5 pounds in a few days. A few days ago however I went camping with my family and was unable to keep up my diet. I gained .5 pounds in 2 days and it sucked. Although I've lost that now, it set me back and made me feel completely crappy. Yesterday when I went over my calorie count again, I decided I needed something to keep me on track, a distraction from eating. So today I am starting this blog to give me something to do besides eat and a place to talk about my weight loss journey. So here are my stats: I'm 5' 3", 16 years old, way 140 pounds (which I know is a lot), and have already lost 5 pound. My first goal is to get down to 130 lbs. I'll post my daily calorie intake and the calories I've burned each day.