Thinspo #11

It is cold now where I live and all the thin girls look so cute in their little wintry outfits. They also look adorable when they're cold, they have the whole damsel in distress thing going. I hope to someday look that cute during the winter. I do not own this picture.

Well, I'm back! I have let myself go for the past couple of months. I've been stressed and I have hidden my body under the warmth of sweatshirts. This needs to change however as I am no longer working with baked goods and should be able to lose some weight. I haven't weighed myself lately but I think I am in the 142-144 range. This area seams to be the area my body stays at which sucks because it is most definitely not where I want to be! I don't have any specific goals at the moment other than to lose some weight again. At my lowest I was 133 and I would like to at least get back down to that. Well here's hoping! Good luck everyone!

Daily thinspo #10

Gahhhh I haven't posted in a long time again, and I am around 143 lbs. which is awful but I have a new challenge for myself. Halloween is in 16 days and I want to look cute. SOOO, I want to lose 15 lbs. by October 31st! So wish me luck on my new quest, I'll need all the luck I can get seeing as my job involves tons of free baked goods... I love this picture because it reminds me of how someday I want to be able to smile at a guy from any angle and not worrying about having a double chin or looking fat. Good luck to all! I do not own this picture.

absences are my thing

It has been way too long since I've posted, I got down to 133 which was great, but then I started getting weirdly emotional and unhappy and eating a ton and it was like I just couldn't pull myself together! My job at a bake shop isn't helping any either. But I think I'm am making a turn around, I've gotten all the way back to 142 which actually makes me cry, but I have a new goal and a new system and I'm working hard. I am going to train for a 5k, then move on to a 10k, then my dad and I are going to run in this San Fransisco run thing! I am excited to have a solid goal that comes with a strict work out plan to burn calories! Plus I get to have some father daughter time. Water Polo will be ending in about a month and I am soooo ready. Lately I have not been enjoying it at all and it has actualy caused me to eat more and gain more weight because I am unhappy. My unhappiness has also led to other absences besides my break from this blog, I missed school today do to illness, I ditched most of Friday, and I haven't gone to tons of polo practices. but oh well, I'm hoping my new regiment will get me back on track! Good luck to anyone else trying to lose!

I love good work outs! Today's water polo practice was a great workout and I feel sooo good! Also this weekend I was at a church retreat where I did very well food wise and ran and swam every morning. All went well till Sunday afternoon when we went out to Mexican. I got depressed from breaking my good streak and ate a ton all afternoon while doing my homework. I can't get under 136.8! Tomorrow morning I'll weigh in again and see if I have lost any with my good workouts and low-cal diet, although I ate some trail mix at my friend's house this afternoon before practice AND some pizza. FUCK! oh well, I didn't eat much the rest of the day, just fruit and low-cal yogurt so I'm hoping my work out pays off. I want to feel confident in my jeans this weekend so I need to cut back on everything.

that fat girl

I hate feeling bigger than everyone else. Like guys would rather be with my friends than me and that they only invite the fat girl to the party cus she's got hot friends. I hate it. soooo much. I want to be thin more than anything. I will have to fight temptation tomorrow when people go out for fast food after my water polo game and then again this weekend when I'll be at a church retreat and only have certain unhealthy foods available. mahhhh well, I shall just not eat! Plus I'll bring my own food. Well good luck to anyone else fighting temptation!

Daily thinspo #9

Someday I want to be able to curl up in bed with my special guy and not be afraid of crushing him or making him uncomfortable with my weight. When I'm thin I want to feel small in a man's arms, fragile and delicate, something to be held and protected and loved. I love how this girl is part way on top of her guy without fearing her arm is too heavy or something. Someday, I will be tiny enough to possess that confidence. Until then, I will have my dear friend Ana to support me. I don't own this picture.